Q: I truly don't like surprises, whether they are well-intended or otherwise. Thank you for all your answers.
A: I think it depends on the context of the surprise. Surprises that are genuine and meant to uplift the person it's intended for are the best ones. A birthday party is really nice or receiving flowers, cards, candy without any alter motive is really awesome. Even someone telling you how much they appreciate you is fabulous. I think where it gets ugly is when you find out things that should have been more forthcoming. A good example is your roommate doesn't want to pay her portion of the bills, three days before the bill is due!! Or find out from a friend that she's been seeing your ex for the past two months. Not good surprises at all. The surprises can get even worse. Like finding out your husband (or wife) has been having an affair or that your husband (or wife) has filed for divorce. The passive-aggressive form of surprises are harmful and hurtful. There is no dignity or respect left for the relationship to continue. Then it becomes an issue of wasted time with the marriage, friendship, or living arrangement.