Q: So, tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day where you are supposed to meditate on all your blessings and how good life is, in general. All of my family is gathering at my house tomorrow, it being the most commodious out of all our homes. The only problem is, I really do not get along with some of my family members, namely my grandmother. I pride myself on being a tolerant person but my grandmother has an animosity towards me that I find disheartening. My mother and I lived with her in her apartment for a number of years, and those years were the worst of my life. She physically beat me and burnt me, belittled my every move, even though I showed only the utmost respect for her. She still constantly harps about everything I do, and she is a tiresome and embittered old woman. I try to be fair, but I am afraid that I will lose my patience. I really do not want to attend Thanksgiving dinner with her present, it's going to be very miserable. What should I do?
A: Remember, only one guy ever walked on the swimming pool. Sure, family can be a real bummer, and ungrateful snots at that. Meanwhile though, be thankful that you have the commodious home that everybody can meet in. You have food to feed them. You have enough that people actually get fat off it! Your family can get to your house without subjecting themselves to mortal danger (or land mines or snipers). And, the grandma has had enough comfort and lack of deprivation that she has had the time to eyeball faults (real or otherwise) in the people around her. She wasn't struggling just to get enough air to breathe and food to eat in order to live for another day. As to patience? Do it one hour at a time. It'll all by over at the end of the day. Now, all I gotta do is remember this for myself, ok? And, if the christlike patience just doesn't work? Rub one half of one drop of dish soap around the inside of her water glass, and fill it with a citrus soda. She won't taste it, and it won't take effect for a couple hours. When it does? You can be oh so empathetic and .. .... yeh.