Q: i am leading a lepracahn hunt on st. patrick's day. i have guns and a whole bunch of other magical goodies to catch them. i want to catch one so i can become really famous. My question is: HOW DO I FIND ONE.
A: It's quite simple... though, there are some preparations you need to make. First off, you need to buy a couple dozen cans of Guinness and a bottle of Jamieson. You'll need to drink half the contents of the bottle though, as a full bottle is too heavy for a Leprechaun to lift. Then, place the opened bottle of Jamieson in the middle of the floor with the label facing toward the door. Next, you're going to have to drink half the contents of each of the two dozen cans of Guinness (remember, Leprechauns aren't Arnold Schwarzenegger; they can't lift heavy weights). Once you have 24 half-empty cans of Guinness, arrange them on either side of the bottle of Jamieson so they form a guard of honour. Now open your front door and invite the Leprechauns to come in and celebrate St. Patrick's day with you. Then you just have to lay down on the floor and wait for the little green men to arrive.