How Old Were You, When Your Mother Let You Go?

Q: How old were you, when your mum stopped being too protective, gave you a little freedom and let you enjoy life? My mom is still over-protective of me, but she lets me have my freedom. Not too much freedom, but there are limits. Like Curfews and such. Don't you feel thankful that just once in your life, your mum knew best and said NO to you? Are you thankful that your mother held you back, so you can stay away from making mistakes? Shukran, and Salaam :)

A: My mom let go of me when I was 15, but not by her choice. My father moved back to motherland, and we stayed in US. My mom used to work, and we all share responsibilities around home and help mom take care of our infant sister. I graduated from high school when I was 16, and left for college. Since then my mom pretty much lost all of her control over me. After I left for college, my dad and his parents wanted a divorce, and she fought hard to save her marriage. I met my husband when I was 18, after 5-6 months of courtship we decided to get married. My mom didn't want me to get married to my husband, because we are from different ethnic background, and with substantial age gap. Plus, she already picked out a guy for me. She threw a fit, we fought back and forth, I got married to my husband. Relationship between my mom and me got very odd and kind of cold. 3 years after marriage, after my daughter was born, my mom came around, and she said that as long as I am happy then she is happy. She adores my daughters so much, and she even came and stayed with me and my husband for few months. Now I understand her more than ever, and I am sincerely sorry for all the pain I have caused her. I am a mother of 2 girls now, and NOW I understand what it was like for her to watch helplessly as I drifted away. My mom was right, now that I am getting older I feel more and more the cultural differences, and I am yarning for my home culture. I love my husband to death, not only is he love of my life but he is my best friend. But there are days when I wonder what my life would be like have I ever listened to her. Lesson to all young girls out there is that as much as you think your mom is unjust, uncool, or unfair, she gave birth to you, gave up many sleepless nights for you, worried sick when you would get one scratch, or cold. SHE knows you better then anyone can ever know you. You may disagree now, but someday if you look deep enough you will understand that all the things that she did which you though were unbearable were to protect you. We as mothers know what kind of cruel life is this life. Even when you turn 30 or 40, you will always be your mom's little baby.

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