Q: NOT asking if they are allowed to, i'm asking if you think they should. I just noticed in our area...the people that cause the most problems are the housewives or their husbands (who seem to just be relaying their wives rage). Absolutely nothing out of the women that work. I just imagine these bored out of their mind housewives, sitting around on the phone making a big deal about nothing....just because they have nothing better to do....i don't believe they are trying to cause problems...... It is a general question i guess, but my question was influenced by my observations at the mosque. Always seems to be some sort of drama going on. We live in a small community and crap like this causes division.....but its always being started from the housewives and their husbands. Living in america might make a slight difference. I know in my parents country....it might take 4 hours to prepare a meal that only takes 30 min here.
A: That's what happened in my marriage. Before we got married my (now) ex-wife and I agreed that we'd both work after we got married *until* we got debts paid off and had purchased a house, and then if we were pretty solid, she'd quit working and we could have some kids. But the agreement was that we'd both work until we were pretty solid financially. Well, get this. She only worked for about the first 3 months after we got married, and then one day she just decided she would quit working and hang out at the house all day. She adopted the attitude that she was a princess, and we should all bow down and kiss her feet. She even told me "All I should be asked to do is stay at home and powder my face." Then, she demanded hundreds of dollars a week for "massages, and other self-care." Sheesh, don't that beat all. I swear I'm not making this up. The first little bit of our marriage, it was decent. She was involved in being productive, and financially, we were doing pretty well. When she just up and quit her job it put us into tremendous financial stress. We started going into debt, and it all went downhill from there. I was working 50+ hour weeks. She did some light housecleaning and swept a bit around the house, and that was it. I was pressured to do all the laundry and dishes, plus naturally all the yard work, AND work a demanding job, while she did next to nothing all week, and nothing on the weekends but go out and shop, and go out with her friends. While I was almost working myself sick, she was at home complaining and telling all her friends how horrible I was because I wasn't a millionaire (again, I'm not joking - I'm serious). Her quitting was, in my opinion, breaking our agreement to one another that we made before getting married. And I think what really kills relationships is when one member develops this entitlement mindset. That is, "I DESERVE ______ " (fill in the blanks). Because then, there's no gratitude to the other partner.They feel like they shouldn't be called upon to do anything, and that you should do it all for them. And because they expect that, because they "deserve it," there's never any gratitude. None at all. In fact, I did way up an above what most husbands did, and I wasn't appreciated a damned bit. My ex was like this, and I dated another lady once that said, "I can't wait until we get married so I can stop working." Sheesh. Women like that are looking for a rescuer, and I ain't gonna play that game. Anyway, yes. I agree with you. :-)