Who says cockney ain't a language??

Q: who can translate this then : 1) God she's Bloody Mary 2) Ouch!I've hurt my Brass Band 3) Your looking Marilyn Manson today 4) Use yer loaf 5) My strawberry only beats for you, treacle Hey no-ones translating it :'(

A: The hen say cockney aient a language coz they no lay eggs,lol.

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