Ok so can you explain a bar mitzvah to me ?

Q: Ok so I was invited to a friends bar mitzvah -- can you explain what it is ? Also what do I give him and what do I wear ? Sorry I must sound stupid. But hey, I know its something Jewish !(= oh yeah and if I give him money, how much do I give?

A: Ignore the idiot talking about foreskins ;) Not knowing whether the congregation is Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform, it's a little hard to say what the ceremony will be like. If it's Orthodox (which I'm guessing it won't be), men and women sit separately. Dress as you would for church or to go to a nice event (not formal, just a dress or skirt set that's presentable). Try not to wear a skirt above your knee or a sleeveless top. The service will be almost entirely in Hebrew, and your friend may only have a small role - reading from the Torah and making a speech (mostly in English). Prayer books will have both Hebrew and English. If it's Conservative, your friend may do more than just read from the Torah and making a speech... he may even be leading some or all of the service. It will be mostly in Hebrew, with some English. Prayer books will have both Hebrew and English. Dress the same as you would for Orthodox services. If it's Reform, he may have even less of a role than Orthodox or Conservative - saying a blessing at the Torah possibly reading a chapter from it, maybe leading a prayer or two, and then the speech. This is not always the case - some Reform bar mitzvahs do as much as they do in Conservative synagogues. But it's not as common. The prayers will be in a mix of Hebrew and English, with a lot more English than you'll hear at Conservative or Orthodox services. There may be music as well. Dress nicely, but pants and shorter skirts are allowed if you prefer them. Most girls tend to dress up, though, because how many chances do you get to show off? ;) If you're not sure if it's Orthodox, Conservative, or Reform, ask your friend. Otherwise, a good tip-off is that most Reform shuls are called Temples. So if the invite says "Temple" Whatever, it's a safe bet that it's Reform. There will be a "Kiddush" after services - basically a small reception with cake and other food. It's right after services, so you won't have time to change clothes. Then there is often an additional party, either at the synagogue or someplace else, often later that evening or the next day. If you're bringing a present, that's the best time to bring it. The dress code will vary depending on what type of party it is - it should say on the invitation what's expected. Some are semi-formal and glitzy, some are laid-back with pizza and video games - you may have to ask your friend. If there's no extra party, beyond what's at the synagogue, then just pick a nice outfit that's comfortable enough to enjoy yourself in. As far as a gift goes, give something you would want to receive. While it's a Jewish event, and some people will be giving Jewish gifts, the truth is it's also like a birthday party, and your friend will appreciate it more if you give something you know he'll like. While grown-ups traditionally give money (usually in multiples of 18, for luck), that's mostly because grown-ups don't know what a 13 year old kid would like and they figure who doesn't like cash. I would go with an iTunes gift card, or a gift certificate to your local movie theater, or something else that seems like a good 13th-birthday gift. You're his friend, not his aunt :) Hope that helps - have a great time and don't be afraid to ask questions about anything.

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