Q: I got mostly what I wanted for Christmas. The bad part was that I was all alone this Christmas. My twin brother along with my dad were in the hospital because of a car accident since Christmas eve. My other seven sibling and my step-mom were stuck in an air port due to bad weather. So I was all alone at home with my dog that was dying on Christmas. We were supposed to get back home a day before Christmas eve but there was only room for three people on the early flight. My dad twin brother and I went because we went last the other time. When we got back I was tired because I couldnt sleep at all on the plane. So only my dad and brother went to a place to buy some hot chocolate. Later my uncle called me and told me about the accident but I didnt go because there was nothing fatal. I had to stay home to watch my dog Einstein because he has cancer and was supposed to be gone in a few more days so we were going to put him down after Christmas. But I guess the vet was wrong.
A: I do sympathize with you about the accident -- that is something that would upset anyone at any time of the year -- but during the holidays ... it is especially hard knowing that they were in the hospital and you/your family couldn't be all together. BUT ... although not the WORST Christmas I've had (the worst one was when my Ex had me served with Divorce Papers -- after Assaulting/Battering me .. damaging my car (and stealing another) .. emptying my bank accounts, destroyed the toddlers' Christmas Presents .. and I HAD NOTHING that Christmas -- not even the funds to replace the presents for the children (I had to even go into further debt to find a place to stay with the children since he was definitely continuing to harm me and stalk me all along). This Christmas was not good either .. for the first time in almost 2 decades, I let someone into my life -- and started dating over the summer. He came down to my home over the Holidays -- and it was NOT good ... He was selfish, rude, he humiliated me .. he made emotionally harmful comments (that he thought was 'witty') ... and when he KNEW (yes, I told him) that I don't sleep through the nights because of the Flashbacks/Nightmares from the severity of the abuse that I lived through ... he couldn't even be Loving enough (or care enough) to just hold me through the WORST of the flashback/nightmare (all I wanted really -- just to be held and hear "Everything's going to be OK"). I was left feeling used .. used for a Vacation and Meals and ... like the only other Man who I let in my life after that divorce ... "I Love You" does not mean UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of me for ME .. it means that they want something .. and can only be with me on THEIR Terms .. So I was left Crying ... and once again .. I have gone forward with the HEARTACHE ... ALONE (and sometimes very lonely indeed) ... but to be ALONE (and lonely) is a far, far BETTER thing to be than to have to 'settle' for someone who can't LOVE me for ME ... or LOVE the way I LOVE them ... and that is for sure.