Q: here's the sitch: *i have 1 daughter. single mom, single income. broke. *my friends/family have 2, 3, even 4 kids. all married with double incomes. financially good. *i give presents to a total about of 55+ kids at christmas. every year the number goes up, coz they keep having babies! *i spend an average of about $10/child. every child usually gets his own present. so if one family has 3 kids, i would spend at least $30 for their family. HERES THE QUESTION: should the family spend $10 for my child or closer to $30? is the xmas present giving/getting game fair or unfair for me? please do not give me "it's the thought that counts" answers. i already know that. MY BANK ACCOUNT, UNFORTUNATELY IS THE ONE THAT DOESN'T. yes, 55 kids. no joke. it its ridiculous. but we have a really big circle of friends and family, and each family will give my child a gift. these are all the people whom i am pretty close to. in fact, i cut off a fair amount from last year. like the older kids, and ones that i hardly see anymore. so i got some relief this past christmas. i must let you know that my daughter does get a lot from others also, so i don't have to. she has grandparents, aunts and uncles, and godparents who i trust to take care of her when i sometimes cannot. i do not deny my daughter things. she is well fed, dressed and taken care of.
A: I think at this point I would suggest a name draw. That way every person has one name to buy for kids included. Then, those with a family of 6 would buy 6 gifts and you would buy two. I faced the same delimma at one time because I had no kids and bought for everyone. Then I suggested the name draw and was surprised that those who I thought had money, really had mortgages to pay too. And thought it was a great idea. Two incomes does not meant they are rich. So make a suggestion and see where it goes. Asking the family to spend more on her gift is only gonna make her feel resentment from others and be the subject of talk all because you place more value on the gift than the holiday. Please don't subject her to that. If it gets to the point you are taking away from your household expenses and caring for her and providing for her and her future, simply explain that you two have other plans and start your own tradition. Spend that money on dinner, movies, riding around looking at lights, and buying a gift for someone who has nothing, let her pick it out. Then teach her what Christmas is really about. Take her to Church.